walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
