I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
