After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
