I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
