I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize