He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can I color on your dick again?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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