I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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