I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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