At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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