i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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