Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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