yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
