Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
