A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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