I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
