Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
