It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize