guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
