YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
