No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
