I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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