I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
