You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
