So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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