Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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