Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
ttyl tear gas
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
