My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
