I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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