I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
id be glad to
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He did a backflip because drugs
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