I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
