so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
