Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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