i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
