ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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