It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize