everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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