honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
