i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
