Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
