It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
