walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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