Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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