I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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