Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
