It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
