He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
