Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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