Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
