Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
