Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
