just come out here and I will go home with you...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
