ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize