He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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