yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
