sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The power of my boobs compel you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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