I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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