Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
