I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
