i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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