Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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