When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the day after is always just damage control
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
